Alright, I think since I last blogged I’ve been to Munich, Germany, Zurich/Lucerne/Engelberg, Switzerland, Vaduz Liechtenstein, and Salzburg/Halstatt, Austria! This weekend I travel to the region of Tuscany in Italy.
Going to all these amazing countries and seeing things I never thought possible is wonderful. However, I’ll be honest. It has not been easy being so far from home (5,035 miles to be exact) when there are so many turbulent and sad events taking place in my home country and state. I feel as though every week I awake to hear more bad news (I’m 7 hours ahead of Kansas i.e. when it’s 1 pm in Kansas its 8 pm here in Italy).
First, there was a shooting in Lawrence, Kansas, the town where I go to college. Then the largest mass shooting in recent history occurred in Las Vegas, a town where I not only have family but friends. I watched the news, read the stories of the victims and survivors, and my heart hurt once more. A week later I received news a close family member’s cancer had returned. He was given a limited number of months to live. This means I may or may not ever see him again. Around the same time, I also learned another family member was diagnosed with cancer and is currently fighting her diagnosis.
Earlier this week I again woke to bad news… a former classmate had passed away unexpectedly. My community is a small one; three towns make up one school system and each graduating class is approximately 80-100 people. Therefore, it is highly probable that each person who went to school with him had special memories with him, I know I did. Not only is my country hurting but my community, my friends and my family as well. It breaks me that I cannot be there to support and uplift them.
Finally, this morning I awoke to the news another close family member who had been fighting cancer is now in hospice. If you read my first blog post this family member and his diagnosis is one of the main reasons I decided to study abroad. The possibility that I may lose two close family members while I’m in Italy is all too real.
Now, while I am so thankful for this opportunity I am reminded you never know when you will see someone for the last time. I urge anyone reading this to not let words or actions go unsaid because “there’s always next time.” Tomorrow is never guaranteed. That ideology, that fear, is how I ended up in Italy. My family member in hospice told my father he admires me for studying abroad and he would be too scared to do what I am doing. To hear those words coming from someone who literally fights for each day astounded me. To be diagnosed with cancer, recognize the odds are stacked against you, and to still vow to fight it, that is admirable. That is strength, and courage. Those are the people I admire most.
To anyone reading this suffering a loss…I am sorry you are hurting. I am sorry for your loss. If you need to talk to someone I am here. Death of any sort is difficult, but death of an individual gone too soon always hurts more. Don’t take for granted your proximity to the people you care for. Instead use them, lean on them, and most of all let them know how you feel about them.
To my family…I am sorry I am not physically there for you. Our family is truly something special and I am so thankful and proud to be a part of it. I am with you in spirit. I love you all.
Carpe Diem.
